Can we talk about how absolutely terrible I was at email marketing when I first started my business?

Because wow. The emails I used to send… I’m honestly surprised anyone stayed subscribed.  Thank you to my day 1’s.  Y’all are the real MVP’s.

Let’s talk about something that kept me staring at my email analytics like they were written in ancient hieroglyphics back in my early days.

My newsletter open rates were so pathetic, I started wondering if my subscribers had collectively decided to pretend I didn’t exist. We’re talking about numbers so low, I genuinely considered whether my emails were automatically routing to spam folders across the internet because, WTF?

Let me set it up for you. I’m having brunch with a friend who I KNEW was on my email list. She mentions how she never sees emails from businesses anymore and only reads newsletters from people she really loves.

Me: “Oh! What about mine?” Her: blank stare “You have a newsletter?”

Bestie. You’ve been subscribed for eight months.  I almost flipped the table and then I realized the issue. 

This is what I was working with.  Subject lines like: “March Newsletter #3” (creative, right?) Content that read like: A robot had studied business communications and tried to write something humans might find interesting Personality level: Corporate manual meets beige wallpaper Call to action: “Have a great day!” (Because apparently I thought I was running a motivational calendar company)

No wonder people were treating my emails like digital tumbleweeds.

One day, instead of my usual “professional” approach, I wrote an email exactly like I was texting my best friend about a work disaster.

I told the story about accidentally sending a proposal with another client’s name in it (mortifying but true). I was honest, funny, and actually helpful instead of trying to sound like a business textbook.

That email got more replies than my previous six months of newsletters combined.

People don’t want to read newsletters. They want to read messages from people they actually like.

The difference: Newsletter energy: “Here’s some information I thought you might find useful” Message from a friend energy: “OMG wait until you hear what happened”

Guess which one people actually open?

The Strategy That Actually Works

Here’s what transformed my email results:

Subject lines that sound like texts: Instead of “Business Updates” try “The client who made me question everything”

Write like you talk: If you wouldn’t say it out loud, don’t put it in an email

One main point per email: Stop trying to update people on seventeen different things

Actual personality: Your subscribers signed up to hear from YOU, not from Business Professional Robot Version of You

The Results Were Kind of Ridiculous

Before: 12% open rates, zero replies, wondering if anyone actually read my emails

After: 67% open rates, replies that turned into clients, people forwarding my emails to friends

Same business. Same expertise. Different approach to actually connecting with humans.

Your Email Reality Check

Look at your last three newsletters (if you can find them) and ask:

• Would YOU open these subject lines?
• Does your personality come through at all?
• What’s the clear next step for someone who reads to the end?
• Would a friend forward this to someone else?

If you’re cringing, join the club. We’ve all sent emails that deserved to be ignored.

Your email list is probably your most valuable business asset, but only if you’re actually connecting with the humans on it.

Every boring, generic newsletter is a missed opportunity to build relationships, establish expertise, and yes – get new clients.

At Magnolia Content Studios, we help you transform those forgettable newsletters into messages people genuinely look forward to reading.

Here’s What I Want You to Try

Your next email should be 50% more “you” than feels comfortable. Share a real story. Use your actual voice. Give people something they can’t get anywhere else.

Watch what happens when you treat your email list like friends instead of a database.

Ready to turn your email list into your biggest source of new business? Our Email Marketing service creates messages that build relationships and attract clients.

Schedule Your Email Strategy Session

What’s the most boring email subject line you’ve ever sent? Share it in the comments – we’re all friends here!